Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize