...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
