We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
We're too hungover to prance.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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