I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
