I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
