My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
