I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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