You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize