i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
