I can feel you judging me through the phone.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
