if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
