like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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