Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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