Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
