Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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