I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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