if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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