you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
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