I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
