I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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