i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
