Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
