So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
