Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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