Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize