U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
