mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
