Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
