just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Come see our sink grown plant.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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