Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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