I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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