I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
