One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
