I hope my margaritas pass through security.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
MIDGETS
????
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
