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• (716): View more from New York

  Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.

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• (254): View more from Texas

  Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots

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• (407): View more from Florida

  It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.

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• (347): View more from New York

  Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.

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• (310): View more from California

  I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.

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