Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
