How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
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