I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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