Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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