You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
