"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I wear drunk well.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
