it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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