dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
