Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
