In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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