high people should be assigned attendants
it was like eating out sand paper
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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