Nicole vs. Life
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize