Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
