GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
