no, he came in my armpit
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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