I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
