i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
