dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
