Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
