one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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