There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Panties = found
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
