Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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