yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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