Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i drank out of a bidet.
ttyl tear gas
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
