school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
