Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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