your thong is hanging out like whoa
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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