let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
