C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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