were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
