I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
