You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
