I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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